After losing Hannah & Evan, which, for those keeping track was 7 months ago now... I went through a period where I thought I could never try a pregnancy again, I was too afraid. And during that period, Mike & I "decided" that we'd like to try adoption. We were fine with this decision, excited even. And how ironic that during this time, despite my PCOS, I was having regular cycles (28 days!) and even ovulating, all on my own.

So, is it any surprise that now that more time has passed, and we've gathered some courage and decided we want to take a chance on another pregnancy that I'm having the most fucked up cycles I think I've ever had? Join me in bitter laughter... last month we decided that come August we would give ttc another whirl, and last month on day 11 I started spotting, and for almost a week the spotting continued and at one point was almost a light period. Now as it was that early in my cycle, I never thought it could be a period, it was just spotting. But then I didn't get my actual period until day 34, nearly 20 days after the spotting had stopped. I had hoped last cycle was just a fluke, but apparently not. Saturday night/Sunday morning I started spotting again, albeit light at first, but now, today (Monday) I had what looks to me like the first day or two of my period does. And it corresponded with a drop in my temps this morning as well.

More and more I cannot wait until my RE appointment on May 28. But really, doesn't this seem like a sick joke? Or maybe I should take it as a sign that we should just adopt...